Have you ever wondered what the right blend between family and work looks like? Tessie Hawkins, the Cafe Manager at Fork Real, sure has. But this mom of two has some advice for parents wrestling with this tension: “When your kids give you big hugs and they continually give you kisses and say, ‘I love you’ and ‘I’m glad you’re my mommy,’ that’s when you’re able to say, well, I haven’t completely failed.” It’s said with a hint of sarcasm, but Tessie’s sentiment rings true. There isn’t a silver bullet to the balancing act of raising kids, being a spouse, growing a career, serving your community and the countless other aspects in our chaotic, beautiful lives. But, one thing is certain: love is what really counts.
Tessie’s story with Fork Real began in 2016 while on staff at Fountain Springs Church. “I was the lead custodian and I also served with Dave and Rhonda Pearcy, making breakfast for the volunteers at church Sunday mornings.” Tessie is also a trained chef, previously working in restaurants before joining the Fountain Springs staff.
“One day Dave sat down at a table with me when I was just hanging out in between church services and he said ‘I hear that you have a culinary background and that you are a chef.’ So I said, ‘Yes, I have my degree and I’ve worked in kitchens for eight years.’” In that conversation, Dave and Rhonda shared their vision with Tessie of a pay-what-you-can cafe.
Tessie served on the board of this new nonprofit and was indispensable in getting the Fork Real kitchen up and running. Originally located in the basement of the Creamery building in downtown Rapid City, the cafe expanded to its current location on St. Joe Street in November 2018 following a grant award from USA Today.
As Fork Real’s new location took root, Tessie stayed on as a board member and consistently volunteered at the cafe. In 2022, though, her role with Fork Real changed. “I came to pick up my Super Bowl barbecue order,” Tessie recounted, “and Rhonda and I were chatting at the cafe about their new kitchen manager. I asked something like, ‘Hey, how’s it going with them?’ And then Rhonda said, ‘Well, it’s not. Do you want a job?’”
The balancing act
After a lot of thought and prayer, Tessie jumped into the Kitchen Manager position at Fork Real. And last year, she became the Cafe Manager. “Now, I’m not only involved with the catering, food truck and kitchen side of things, I also do volunteer recruitment and community service training,” she explained.
It’s been an amazing ride for Tessie. She’s found that sweet spot of purpose that, as author Frederick Buechner said, is “the place where your deep gladness and the world’s deep hunger meet.” But, Tessie recognizes that, as a mother and wife, she needs to pay careful attention to the boundaries and the balance between these two realms of her life. “It’s not easy,” she said. “There are some days where, as a mom, I don’t know if I’m putting the priorities of my community above those of my kids.”
This question is a perennial quandary for parents. But Tessie also takes the time to explain what she’s doing when she’s away. “I tell my kids that I don’t just cook food so that people can eat; we’re helping people who need it, because something in their world has gone sideways. I’m just trying to instill in them that mommy’s not just a workaholic. But one of mommy’s jobs is to take care of people. And the way that we take care of them is by feeding them.”
Tessie’s two kids, Henry and Victoria, are, in fact, getting that lesson. They spend time at the cafe, witnessing the work firsthand — and eating the best pancakes in town while doing so. As they’ve gotten older, they’ve even lent a hand from time to time.
There really is no magic ratio for balancing parenthood and career and ministering to the wider world. But, ultimately, if there’s love at home, that’s what counts.