A new school year is full of new potential: new classes, new friends and new activities. Sports, music, debate, FFA — you name it, there’s a club for it. “We have a lot of clubs here at Central; we even have a thrifting club,” said Jessica Jesseph, a counselor at Central High School. “That club is so cool to see because that’s those students’ niche, and they have a passion to share that with others.”
Whether it’s scoring treasures at a thrift shop or scoring a goal on a soccer team, activities and clubs clearly provide something students need. “When a kid joins a club, they get a built-in support system, built-in friends — and friendships are huge,” Jessica explained. “So many kids are afraid of not fitting in, and joining a club or an activity can really help them feel like they belong.”
Beyond the built-in friends, there are also competencies, grit and more benefits that can come from activities. As Jessica pointed out, students can even discover an element of identity from their extracurriculars. “I will always be an advocate for joining something. It is so helpful for kids when they are trying to fit in or trying to figure out who they are, and finding a club or an organization or community can really help them foster that.”
WHEN IS IT TOO MUCH?
Clubs and activities are an environment in which kids get to explore their talents, personalities and passions. But what happens when your kid wants to pursue more activities than seems viable? What do parents need to look for when their high-drive child is playing clarinet, singing in the choir, running on the track team, dancing ballet and serving in student government?
“One of the main things to look for that we talk to parents about is sleep,” Jessica said. “Exhaustion — that’s the first indicator.” Rest, as we all know, is vitally important to the development of kids. Any time there’s a disruption to sleep in a kid’s routine, parents need to take note.
Jessica described how one of her students who excels in track started to experience a decline from an overloaded schedule. “Her performance in track was actually going down this year because she was so depleted of energy, and her mind was in so many different places that she actually started to say, ‘Oh my gosh, am I not good at this anymore?’”
Jessica worked with this student to help her see that she wasn’t failing at track, the activity she’s most passionate about. Rather, she helped her see that by dividing her focus over six extracurricular activities, the sport she found the most joy in was becoming more of a burden.
But how can a student realize this is the right activity to focus on? How do you know your student isn’t giving up on a passion and focusing on the wrong thing? “You have to ask yourself,” Jessica said, “what do they get the most joy out of? Is it the thing that she wants to go do when she has free time?” Is your kid playing baseball, basketball, thrifting or running for fun? When the pressure’s off, when the coach’s voice isn’t there, is your student still shooting hoops in the driveway or jamming on their cello in their free time?
For Jessica’s student, trimming back on the other extracurriculars created the breathing room she needed to rediscover the joy of the sport she loved. Sometimes, less can be more.
JUMPING IN
Community is for everyone. Passion is for everyone. So what do you do when your student wants to join a club, but that prospect seems too daunting?
One of Jessica’s primary messages to students and their caregivers is to remember that their counselors have their backs. “Have them go to their counselor and ask them, ‘Hey, can you help me navigate this? Can you help me find a club?’” Jessica said. She also recommended connecting with other students or even the leaders of those activities to help ease any nervousness. “Connecting them with that person, so then they’re not alone the first time, I think helps them to not be so afraid to start the whole process of getting involved.”
Jessica has even accompanied students to their first meeting. School counselors are there to support their students. “I care a lot about people,” Jessica noted, “so finding a career where I can use my passion to help others and help them be successful has been awesome.”
The new school year is a fantastic time to help your student discover their passion and pursue it. In case they ever take on too much, remember, there are always people out there to help them focus and find that beautiful balance of passion and joy. And if they ever need help taking that first step, counselors like Jessica are thrilled to jump in and help.
By Stephen Simpson